Fate has Finally Stepped In :)

Well, I know I mentioned this before but there's a guy in my life. We are definitely taking it slow because of his kids! We make each other so happy. Never in a million years would I have thought I would end up here at this place, with this person! I smile more than I have before and I feel different than I have in any other relationship. As I said before, we grew up together, went to grade school and when we hit high school he left after freshman year. We lost contact for about ten years and a couple of months before I left for Pennsylvania we got back in contact with each other. Even then I didn't think we would end up where we are now. Hell, three months ago, I would have said you were crazy if you told me that I would be at this place now! I knew I wanted to try and see if things work when Carrie was home in September and we all went out to the bar for some drinks and pool. Since then, I have found out how happy we are when we're together! That one night at the bar was the night that sparked everything. It seems that fate has finally stepped in for the both of us and brought us here, together. The future is still a mystery, but I can at least influence it as much as possible. We want to end up together in the end, it's just a matter of time and patience :)  I'll definitely keep you posted on what happens!!!!!

Life as I Know it!

So, I have officially started the application process for college. Man do I feel like I'm in high school again. Trying to write essays for college applications is not an easy task to take on. I will get through with the help of my family and friends. Speaking of friends; I have been spending time with a friend that I grew up with. We went to school together, we didn't really keep in touch after high school. We got back in touch when I was in Pennsylvania and we started hanging out together since I've been home! It's been really nice to have someone to talk to, and we talk about everything. I was at his place the other night, we watched Avatar and then stayed up talking until 3:30 in the morning. I can't believe how much we talk when we are together. We've gone out with his kids to see the foliage, which wasn't very pretty, but it was still a nice day! We have a good friendship going on right now, and maybe that's what we both need. We're going out tomorrow and Friday, and he said that he would help me with my essays if I wanted him to. I'm going to see if he'll with the personal choice essay. My best friend, Carrie is leaving for basic-training in a few weeks. I'm sad that she's leaving, but very very proud of her. She'll be home for a visit before she leaves and I'm sure we'll hang out. Right now, I guess that's it. I will keep you updated on my college endeavors as the arise.

realization

So, I'm realizing more and more what I truly want out of life. I'm going back to school next fall to get my Bachelor's degree in Nursing and am hoping to find that guy that makes my heart skip a beat. I want, more than anything in the world, to be a mother. I want to have a family and watch little ones running around a house that is as warm and loving as mine was while I was growing up. I want to go through the joys of motherhood along with the joys of being a wife. I know I'm 27 years old, but that doesn't mean I'm not ready for all of this to happen, I'm just waiting for the right guy to come along! I know that all of this will happen as it's meant too, but the waiting for it to happen sucks-ass; so there's no sense in staying home waiting for "Mr. Right" to fall into my lap. I'm going to have to get out there and step outside of the little box I like to be in. I also realize that because I'm getting older, the guys that I date will have as much baggage as myself or more. And I realize that some of them may already have children. That is something that I don't mind, as long as the guy I end up with wants to have more children. So, here's to my plans for the future and finding the one true-love of my life.

Keeping you updated!

So, I've been home for about two weeks. I miss Carrie and all my friends in Pennsylvania. I had such a great summer and was sad to have to depart and leave them all behind, but I know that I will be going back down as soon as I can to visit and have more fun! Scott, Mel, Dave, Chris, and Amy made my visit the best it could have possibly have been. I not only was able to enjoy time with Carrie, I was also able to go out with friends that accepted me into the group within the first couple of weeks without question! I am so thankful for their friendships and the time we spent together. I have now gained friendships that I will cherish forever. We did a lot while I was in the great state of Pennsylvania and since I've been home it hasn't stopped! The Monday of my return I was taken to Boston by Donna to go to the Red Sox game with her cousins. We sat in the Budweiser Roof Deck and had an absolutely awesome time. I started back to work the Thursday and Friday for workshops. And then this past Monday and Wednesday, Donna and I went two minor-league baseball games. One was in Manchester for the FisherCats and the other was in Portland for the SeaDogs! We had a great time at both games, as usual and ran into some friends while we were at the Manchester game. This past week was the first week of school for the kids. I'm working in 7th grade and I do enjoy it. They've changed the way things are going in the 7th and 8th grade and the paraprofessionals. Last weekend I did some dress shopping with Sara and the other girls in her wedding party. We found a couple of dresses, but nothing is set in stone at the moment. I have managed to continue taking pictures and posting some of them on RedBubble. I am still so thankful to Carrie for getting me back into a hobby that I thoroughly enjoy doing! I am looking forward to Carrie coming home for a few days and possibly spending a bit of time with her. I am also hoping to see a friend in a couple of weeks once we have settled into our schedules again! We will see what happens after we have dinner :)

Well, I'll keep you updated with my life as I can.

stirring old interests!!!

So, I should be thankful to Carrie for stirring an old interest that has been dormant for the better part of two years, at least. As you may know, her and a couple of friends chipped in and bought me a digital camera for my birthday. It isn't one of those fancy Cannon or Nikon cameras with a million settings that professionals use, it's simple and perfect for me at the moment. Carrie, Scott and I were out at Penn State College Campus because I wanted to take pictures. I haven't just gone out to take pictures in a very long time, though I did was down in April, but it didn't stir anything then. We were walking around campus and I was finding shots that I wasn't sure would come out well, but regardless I took the shot and hoped for the best. And so we continued to walk around campus and I was taking pictures of the old building I saw through the branches of trees that hung down over them. And I was taking pictures of flowers, the way I used when I would go to Portsmouth when the gardens were in full-bloom! It was when I was taking pictures of some blooms at the O.H. Smith Botanical Gardens at Penn State, that I remembered how much I really did enjoy taking pictures of nature, and some people, especially people I'm with that know I'm taking their picture. Somehow, this part of me was lost and buried since that awful break-up two years ago. And now you may ask what has happened. I am thanking my best friend and favorite roommate in whole world for this new stirring of an old interest that's been waiting, apparently, for the right opportunity to shine again. I never took photography classes, so it is completely a hobby and one that I have realized that I find true solice in. Even though I don't own a fancy digital camera, I have one that is doing a good enough job for me at this present time and if I feel like this interest can go anywhere, I will save the money to purchase a "fancy" digital camera, though sometimes I miss the 35mm with exchangeable lenses that I first started with. Today, Carrie and I returned to the Botanical Gardens so she could get some shots of the water lilies that are bloomed only during the day. I found some shots that I thought were interesting enough for me, and so I joined Carrie in sitting around the little pond and thoroughly enjoying what I was doing for the first time in a long time. I found shots that I was hesitant about, but took them anyway. When the day was over, or Carrie's battery died, we came back to the apartment and I let her look what I had taken over the last few days. And to my surprise she was impressed by some of them. She even gave me a couple of suggestions on post-editing for a couple of the shots I took. Listening to her and hearing what she thought was important to me and I realized then, that I have truly and regrettfully missed just going out and taking pictures of what I see in nature. So, my mission when I return home is: to go out as often as I can and just take pictures. Take pictures of whatever I see and am inspired by regardless of if I think it's going to make a good shot or not. That, to me, is the fun and joy of photography and what I have missed for far too long. So, here's to new adventures with an old interest!!!

life

Well, it looks like I will be moving back to New Hampshire on Saturday! I had an interview at one school in the State College Area School District, I ended up not getting that job, but the pay was less then what I would make at home even though they include benefits. I need to go back home for me. I wish I had a good reason why, but I don't. I told Carrie, and I know she's a little disappointed, but she's alright with my decision. I will be back down to visit as much as I can. And hopefully back down next summer before my sister's wedding. My computer, I think, as shit the bed!!!!! I'm hoping that when I get home, I can figure out what's wrong with it. Tuesday, Carrie, Scott, and I will be walking around Penn State Campus so I can get some pictures, just in case my computer's gone. And then Thursday we are going to celebrate her birthday before I leave with a trip to G-Man to see Emily's ToyBox. It should be a lot of fun and hope a lot of her friends and co-workers show up. So long, for now.

life

Well, it's August now and things are still going pretty good. I have an interview on the 11th at Easterly Parkway Elementary School. Fingers are crossed, but I'm not putting everything into getting this job. It's important for me to make more than what I would at home because I'll be paying for rent plus all my other bills. Everyone has been really supportive of me and it makes me feel good and that this is a good decision for me. I'm still nervous about moving down here, but I know I'll be fine in the end. I have friends here that will help with the transition and are being supportive whether or not I get to stay here! I'm looking forward to the up-coming planning of Sara's wedding events! I know there's still a year left, but there's a bridal shower to plan and a bachelorette party to take place! Dress shopping for the girls is the next big thing on the list! Not sure what's going to happen with that because Katie and I will be in burghundy dresses, while the bridesmaids will be in black dresses! Black is a little easier to shop for, because the shade isn't going to change from fabric to fabric! We'll see what happens. Sara's gown is ready to be picked up at the shop and brought to mom and dad's for safe-keeping! She is going to be an absolutely beautiful bride and the dress she pickd is totally my sister. It shows her personality amazingly. I realize that my thoughts are kind of scrambled together, but right now that's what's going on in my head. I do apologize for those who have a hard time following the thoughts here, but to me, a blog is like a diary and I should be aloud to ramble. My heart is not breaking so much now for my friends who lost their son! It's getting a little easier every day to think about them without wanting to cry! They received my letter and told my dad that they were very happy to have received such a heart-felt letter from me. I thought that a sympathy card was just not enough, so I sat down and wrote them something special while choosing the right words that I wanted to use! My parents are going to stop by their place to go out on the boat, for a little while. I believe this will be good for both my parents and the Stimsons. They still haven't buried their son yet, but I believe it's because of the arrangements that have to be made at Arlington! I am so glad that his final resting place will be in such a place of honor! I know that it may not help his family heal thinking about it that way, but who knows, it just might! Anyways, I got a call from my friend Sultan at about eleven o'clock this morning. It was nice to wake up to his voice on the other end of the phone! I haven't talked to him in quite a few weeks, so it gave us a chance to catch up wtih each other. He's doing well and is glad that I'm doing well. I haven't seen him in about a year, but we keep in touch with phone calls and emails, so I guess it's alright! Carrie and I have been looking for apartments on the internet with the hopes that I'll get the job here. We've found a couple that we really like, though have to wait and see if I'll be able to afford the move. It's been interesting looking for apartments and thinking that Carrie will be my roommate! I don't mind the idea, it doesn't scare me, it baffles me to think that I will be sharing a place with a person whom I hve known for the better part of twenty years! And, I do believe that it may just excite me a little to think that I will be leaving the town that I have spent the last twenty-seven years living in with my parents! I know that I will miss my family and friends back home, but I also know that this will be one of the best things to happen in my life!


Well, I guess that's it for now. Gotta eat dinner and get ready to go to Champs for Matt's birthday!!!! GOOD NIGHT Y'ALL!!!!